Full disclosure: I am not a breeder. I watch my good friends hitting that baby-making age and watch with some fascination and trepidation. Babies everywhere! But this was an enlightening experience.
My good friends Kes and Aileen recently had a daughter, who is now eight weeks old. This past weekend, I suddenly understood what parents mean when they bemoan the lack of family-friendly places.
Kes and a group of friends (including my husband) decided to hit the International BrewFest in the North Park Blocks. Surely, the OLCC wouldn’t find an eight-week-old infant in a stroller concerning.
Not a chance. No minors, no kids, no teensy weensy babies. Turned away. So, undaunted, the group decided to hit someplace in the Pearl with outdoor seating and make their own brewfest.
Except, as they rolled the stroller from place to place, they kept getting the same uncomfortable, terse head shake or regretful refusal. The group rolled around for nigh an hour without being able to find a single outdoor eatery that would deign to let them hang out with an infant next to them.
Perhaps I am saddened by this because I personally know that the baby is at the age that she is not going to bug anyone (no running around or squealing or making messes–she’s too young for that), and certainly too young to get slaughtered and go all Spring Break at the brewfest.
Is this just me having sympathy with my good friends and their new daughter, or is this what parents all around this good town are up against? Or is it just the Pearl? And what the heck is the deal with the OLCC, in general? They make me grumpy.
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To add insult to injury, there was indeed a screaming child in a stroller at the Oregon Brewer’s Festival opening dinner last evening. I guess the OLCC rules only apply in certain situations.
I still contend that a brewfest is not a place for a child.
As a child I certainly was taught that in certain venues (restaurants, dinner parties, church, school) my job was to sit down and shut up. Even as a toddler. And, no, I wasn’t beaten into submission.
I have two younger siblings, still in Portland’s favorite demographic age-wise, each with multiple kids. One set is in the Northwest; the other in the midwest. All five of the kids are terrific – bright, witty, relatively well-behaved and a lot of fun. Both sets of parents are, overall, wonderful parents.
But in public, you want to be with the midwestern kids. Why? Because they were taught that in public in an adult venue, their job was to stay seated and shut up. They were allowed a couple of small toys to play with quietly on their placemats.
In the meantime, their cousins were running up and down the halls of restaurants, getting in the way of the staff and requiring a parent to be constantly absent from the yes, mostly adult, conversation. I truly wonder if part of it has to do with the fact that the midwestern kids’ parents are regular churchgoers, so they learned from an early age that they had to be quiet on Sunday morning during the service. The northwestern parents aren’t heathens by any means, but they aren’t regular churchgoers. Until their kids hit school, they never really had to face the concept of sit down and shut up.
Having said this, I’m NOT making a value judgement about NW vs midwestern kids — I’ve certainly seen my share of brats in the midwest and well-behaved kids around here.
I don’t have kids but I love ‘em. And don’t care if they are in a adult venue, such as a brewfest during the day or early evening in a public park (now a bar seems weird). I do care if the kids aren’t taught to be relatively well behaved — I hold the parents accountable, not the kids.
And after 8 p.m, why aren’t you home getting your kids into bed (or hiring a nanny to do so)?
@xb –
I’m a little late to this thread, but I just wanted to respond specifically to the comment:
““a bar is no place for a kid” turns out to be a very american (and narrow) point of view.”
I remember reading about a British pub chain that limits drinks for parents recently. Even though their stance about letting children into pubs is pretty harsh, I think it does show this is not just an American view. There are a lot of places in Portland that are kid-friendly and some that aren’t, beyond the point of OLCC regulations too, i.e., areas where liquor is served and establishments where food is not the primary focus (think Amnesia.) I’m sure parents can feel it in the atmosphere that they don’t feel welcome at times.
I personally would prefer to not be around children (adults can act like children too) when I go out to relax with friends, but I do sympathize with those parents who want to enjoy one of the major things Portland is known for: great beer.
Places like Laurelwood are known to be extremely family-friendly and it’s as if they prefer to cater to those that feel left out; good for them. However, there are other establishments where even the patrons would prefer not having children present… You can’t please everyone, I guess.
I agree with Talea…..
I grew up on a dairy farm in the Midwest and at even an early age you just knew if you didn’t behave at a public establishment it meant you didn’t get to go again! So you behaved, and you got to go for pizza or a cool drive in more often. Even when I go home I still see cousins with small children behaving well in public.
However, I find myself here in Portland looking for a place to be seated as far away from children as possible… Most parents seem to be so used to poorly behaved children that they don’t hear or see them tearing the place up like they do at home.
My best friend has a small cafe and is child friendly but I watch them spend significant time and attention to cleaning up after the damn brats even while the parents watch. I guess eating out means that you have a slave to clean up the terrible mess your child leaves. It’s not fair to the restaurant or the other patrons who eventually pay a higher price because of the extra clean up costs.
It’s also not fair to think you’re going to have a wonderful date with a handsome guy or hot girl when you find your both ready to leave early because the child in the booth next door is throwing food or jumping and yelling!
I can’t blame the kids; I blame the parents for not caring about their kids. I’d like a small pop gun at each table so we could pop that kid’s parent in the head with a rubber pellet and make them get a grip on their child.
Brew fest is for adults….If you’re going to have children you have already made a decision to end your party lifestyle and alter your drinking and living habits, don’t make me adjust mine!
Children are not an inconvenience for going out, they are the reason you shouldn’t. You should be spending all your time bringing them up and teaching them to be responsible, educating them and playing with them.
I asked my grandfather on his death bed if he had any regrets… He said yes, I wished I would have spent as much time getting to know my own kids as well as I did my grand kids!
Do kid things with your kids, as much as possible and you’ll have little to regret, I don’t’ need to be involved….
Dave
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