You might be able to find something – pictures or history – in a local museum about the White Stag… ?

Turns out my dad, 78, also is in town for the first time since 2002 (that was his first trip to that “weird Portland place”), and despite the fact that two of his three kids live here, he had refused to come back. (He believes it’s our job as loving kids to come to HIM.)

Now, he’s here for a sign convention (he owns a sign company in the Midwest). He’s also a small-plane pilot, but we did the Evergreen museum thing the last time he was here.

So what to do on Wednesday, the day he has penciled in as “spend time with kids?” Turns out that on his first day here, he drove down NW 23rd in the dark on the way to dinner at my brother’s and wants to see it in the light. Heck, after that, we can throw in Hawthorne, the Pearl, Belmont, Fremont, MLK and Interstate, Multnomah Village and we’ve got a day.

Not that he’s into shopping. He’s into signs. It’s amazing what REALLY interests parents.

So come to think of it, we need to do neon (he used to be a neon bender). Remind me quick — where are this city’s best neon signs?

So far, he’s not too impressed with Portland signage, particularly the readability of its street signs (“too damn small for people in cars.” My reply: “We don’t like cars here, Dad.” His reply: “Hurrrumph.”).

But I actually agree with him on the signage thing (and believe you me, this is a red-letter day) — Portland street signage sucks. (The quickest way from the neighborhood my brother and I live in to downtown is via I-405, but I knew those signs were so confusing that it was best to send him down NW 23rd to W Burnside to SE 3rd to get to his hotel. But the 3rd St. sign on Burnside is unreadable unless you ARE THIS CLOSE).

P.S. And we will do the tram — my brother has a post-surgery doctor’s appointment on the Hill so Dad and I will do the tram while the bro gets poked, prodded and x-rayed. I may not like the fact I, a taxpayer, am paying for a tram that pretty much just benefits OHSU (actually, I’m paying twice since I have to pay for our ride), but I do like the view.

I want to suggest Peninsula Park rose test garden, but I think it may be under construction.

If the day is clear, Rocky Butte is my fave – out where I205 and I84 converge is a hill with a fortress atop. Great views of the mountains and such.

Sauvies Island – great for a nice country drive or to check out the corn maze.

Pittock mansion in the west hills off Burnside – another great view and you may be able to take a tour. Former Oregonian publisher’s home.

Walk the waterfront loop – East side esplanade and west side Waterfront park. Maybe grab some food from one of the great carts downtown and then go for a nice walk.

Have fun.

Also, you can get a free pass for you and your mom to the Oregon History Museum, if you want to go on 9/27:

http://microsite.smithsonianmag.com/museumday/index.html

Or to any of these:
Architectural Heritage Center
Rice Northwest Museum of Rocks and Minerals
World Forestry Center Discovery Museum

The tops of “tall” buildings in Portland won’t make much of an impression on anyone who’s been to the top of the Empire State, or to the Rainbow Room. Stay low. If bucks permit, spring for a great classic restaurant — Higgins, Genoa, etc.

If you drink wine, drink King Estate pinot gris or Archery Summit or Lemelson pinot noir. And of course, if beer is on the horizon, you can’t go wrong with anything brewed around here. Aviation gin, Cold Creek apple brandy, the local booze list is endless.

If the weather’s good, go to the Washington Park rose gardens, for the view if nothing else.

The Oregon Historical Society is cool. Ditto Powell’s.

Stay off the stupid tram.

For crafts, Saturday Market. Everything is hand-made, and it’s a nice blend of what gives Portland its reputation. And it’s free!

Does mom like a glass of beer upon occasion? A movie on the overstuffed couches at Kennedy school is a lot of fun, and if Mom is feeling *bad*? Send her to Detention for a shot of whiskey!

A quick foofy drink with a great view? Portland City Grill, but get there before happy hour. You might get a seat that way. If not, the restaurant on the 22nd (?) floor of the Hilton is much quieter. Get the waitress to tell you the lemon drop story.

On the sober side, a drive to the beach or up the gorge is a beautiful way to kill an afternoon, depending upon the weather.

Welcome to Portland, Mom!