You know what we need? Portland-themed limericks.
Hey, if you live in Nantucket, you’re pretty much set for home-town-based limerick goodness, but what about those of us on the left coast? Why can’t we have Portland limericks?
So, how about you readers dig out a no. 2 pencil and start creating some appropriate poems. You all know how a limerick is constructed: 5 lines with the rhyme scheme aabba, where lines 1, 2, and 5 have three beats, and lines 3 and 4 have two beats.
While limericks are traditionally humorous and a bit risque’, we ask that you avoid cheap and easy (and filthy) verses in favor of something a bit more witty. And remember, this is OurPDX, so connect it to Portland in some way.
To get you started, here’s a few samples:
There was a young hipster named Earl,
who lived in a loft in the Pearl,
He sipped herbal tea,
while feigning ennui,
but he’d still never slept with a girl.There once was a logger from Oakridge,
who built a canoe from an old ‘fridge.
It floated just great,
across half of the state,
but stuck fast going under the Steel Bridge.There once was a gal from Vancouver,
who desperately hoped for a suitor,
But her search for a spouse
stopped at the door of her house,
’cause she never got off her computer.There’s a baby named Sam at the zoo,
Who is cute as a button or two,
We all felt quite sick,
when Ma gave him a kick,
but he quickly forgave mamma Rose-Tu.There was a young lady named Kitty,
who grew up in the Rose City,
she had piercings and brands,
from her feet to her hands,
and a large tattoo gracing each…breast.
Post your own limericks in the comments!
{ 18 comments }
I’m thinking we may need to come up with some prizes for people here as an incentive.
How about this? We’ll narrow the submissions down, if needed (we meaning the OurPDX authors), then put them up for a vote (must find polling plugin stat!)
The prizes? Ummm….well…starting to work on them Right Now.
HAHAHAHAHAA!
I nearly spit my tea out!
Those were great… although I’m having a hard time getting past the “no dirty bits” bit.
Awesome!
That is a hard task:
My first attempt:
There once was a dude name Joe
Lived in a house in NOPO
Wore kakis with boots
Drank Stumptown and Roots
And now wants to learn how to sew.
I prefer Haiku, but here’s a shot (dedicated with love to BoJack):
It once was a quaint timber town,
With blue collar jobs all around.
Now it’s streetcars and trams,
Developers’ scams,
And a condo for every broke clown.
Okay, I’ll give this a whirl.
There once was a bum in goose hollow,
Who drank all the booze he could swallow,
Then got on bus #15,
Made quite the scene,
and will be back on the streets tomorrow.
Cheery, no?
@radiogretchen – At first I thought this was about Bud Clark.
Steve R and radiogretchen – well done!
You’re going to be sorry you got me started.
In Portland to blog is divine.
You’ve got no ideas? Well, fine.
It’s beer, bikes and beans
(That’s coffee, I means)
Or maybe some food and some whine.
Oops….First word in line three should be “It’s”.
Last word should be “whine”.
Corrected original – Betsy
Go, go, go!
And: more, please…
There was a barista named Jack
He drove a dirty Outback
down the Avenue of Roses
where hos sucked on hoses
purchasing meth, amphetamines and crack
There once were two men from Boring,
Who went out drinking and whoring.
Along 82nd,
Their car horn did beckon,
But vice squad kept them from scoring.
I’m beginning to detect a theme…..
There once was a man from Saint John’s
He used to make trucks down at Swan’s
The Germans removed to a place that behooved
Now the Freightliner plant is gone.
Too mucking Fuch!
There once was a hipster from Belmont,
Whose fund bought him all that he could want,
When his trust fund ran dry,
He called daddy and cried,
but dad said, “get work at a restaurant!”
A middle aged mom from the West Hills
Found that picking her nose gave her big thrills
She’d wad up her goo
And flick it at you
Doesn’t knowing that give your back chills?
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