Not having been raised in a household that celebrated Christmas, I’ve missed out on a lot of yearly traditions. I never went to sit on Santa’s lap. I see kids lining up at Pioneer Place Mall, where the Santa is gregarious and cheerful. (Although he looks a bit underfed…) I haven’t witnessed any incidents there, but Channel 8 News is reporting an incident that just occurred at Clackamas Town Center.
Seems a man was near Santa (and the kids waiting to hit him up for goodies) acting loud and crazy. When asked to leave by security, he refused and police were called. Apparently he was tazed and subdued. (Great title for a song, BTW.) At last report, he was regaining consciousness at a local hospital. No word on how many children witnessed this.
Man, I wish I’d been there! I love theater of the absurd, and watching a dude getting zapped to the strains of ‘Have a Holly Jolly Christmas’ brings out the sadistic streak in me. While I feel bad for the little kids who had to witness it, I picture my rowdy self at age 12, thinking how that would be the coolest Christmas memory ever!
Rudolph the Reindeer, when asked for comment said, “It was awesome! It made my nose flicker just a little, but it was worth it. We did it for the children!”
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“I’ve been tazed and subdued on this afternoon, true! Wanted a Santa but got men in blue…”
Hmm. This is why Weird Al has nothing to fear from me.
This is exactly why “Bad Santa” is the best holiday movie ever!
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