As we’ve all been hearing, the bus system is due for a major shake-up in May, and and again in September. Schedules will change, MAX will be running into fresh territory, and a new fleet of buses will be popping up.
Holy shoes, May is next month. Is this year slipping away or what?
As new buses are introduced, TriMet has announced that they are retiring some of the older fleet. I have mixed feelings about this: I love some of the older buses, and HATE others. The little short bouncy buses that service Council Crest and Washington Park? Please god kill them off. One shouldn’t need Dramamine and a back brace for a thirty minute bus ride.
My true enemy, in bus form, is the 1700 Series. (You can tell by looking at the bus’s ID number, to your right as you board the bus. Look up.) They are a step-up, which I don’t mind. The other step-ups are my favorite for longer rides; the seats are roomy, big picture windows, and you can crack the windows if the smell of Fritos and rotten hipster are overwhelming.
The 1700s have an issue that has affected me personally, and painfully. It’s the positioning of the seats and separators; they have a sharp edge that hits your shin midpoint between knee and ankle. I discovered this the hard way one rainy afternoon. As I was seated, the wet floor caused my foot to slip and I barked my shin hard. It caused a bruise and a lump, but I chalked it up to Darwinism. I should be more careful.
When I did it again a week or so later, it was tear-inducing. I had difficulty walking for a few days, and a nasty bone bruise. I probably should have gone to the doctor, but I’m on the Republican Health Plan: Don’t Get Sick. I persevered.
A couple months afterward, I got sick. Sick-as-a-dog sick. My leg ballooned up, and I went to emergency. I had a major infection, which required months of antibiotics and packing/repacking dressings. I have the coolest scar, that looks like I took a bullet or two in the leg, but it was caused by a goddamn bus. A 1700.
So, when my foot slipped on the bus yesterday and I barked my shin, my eyes shot toward the reader board. @#%! A 1700… I looked down, and saw that apparently I’m not the only one who has made contact. Someone’s been hitting this bus hard.
Step carefully, kids. It was a sunny 70-degree day. Had it been raining? I’d be writing this to an attorney. I took one for the team last time. Not next time.
So, I’ve spoken my peace to TriMet about killing my Saturday service. (No reply, and no satisfaction.) I hate that I’m being stuck with distant, infrequently-timed MAX service instead of the dependable bus service I’m accustomed to. But if you want me to walk to that MAX, make sure my legs don’t need amputating before September?
Take those 1700s, and those bouncy-assed short buses, out to the back forty and put them out of my misery. Please?
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