It’s been 113 days since I last posted here on OurPDX. Since then there have been three OurPDX Author meetups (and had the balls to attend one of them), a major site migration, blog design update, and a Flickr group account started (which at this moment has more than 360 gorgeous images). Oh, and hundreds of interesting, witty, Portland-relevant blog posts have been written by a long list of interesting, witty, Portlanders. But nothing from me, mediaChick. So-called proud Oregon native, professor of alleged long-standing love of Portland and writing. Zilch.
What’s my damage, anyway? #seriously
Okay, the story of my damage is actually pretty good, but not necessarily appropriate for this platform. Instead I give you:
Top 5 Pathetic Reasons I Haven’t Blogged Here In, Like, Forever
1) I invented procrastination and, therefore, must practice what I preach.
Omg, don’t get me started. I guess that’s the point! I have to say that this pathetic excuse is the lamest of the five, so we’ll start here. I am a procrastinator, of the perfectionist kind. The lamest part is that I know everyone is, to some degree. What’s my excuse? None. Unfortunately, I have learned that putting things off has an unexpected bonus: other stuff gets done instead. For instance, my house? Clean. Yep, I am even putting something off right this very minute. I’m writing this post to put something off. I am the Master Procrastinator.
2) real job + freelancing + secret project = my brain is borked
I work in a cubicle full time, where I create online courses and offline textbooks. Some video, some audio, lots of PowerPoint, and advise on social Web matters. I freelance as a consultant and teacher. I have an ambitious secret project that consumes me. My brain is borked, people. This reason is lame, however, because LOTS of people can say the same thing. But don’t. They just get their shit done. I’m a sissy crybaby.
3) All the other authors are more prolific/funny/interesting/sexier.
I am not worthy. Have you read some of the stuff here? Adventures in pole dancing class, Porn Shop Diaries, Deviant Advice, and bitch slaps to the Portland Mercury. The list of fine reading fodder already here is long. I write Top _____ lists and make pathetic excuses. Laaaaaame.
4) Writing is hard.
I still remember when Betsy asked me to author on OurPDX. We were at Beer and Blog, our eyes meet across the room. She asked, I accepted. I wrote I’m Native, I’m Proud and it solicited a lot of comments (a lot for me, anyway) and one of them was negative. Success! I think maybe I blew my load on that one. (Am I allowed to say that here?)
5) Fear of fame and fortune
Okay, this one is actually a serious issue for me. I’m a sensitive, writer/artist girl for the love of @tweetjeebus! What if I was writing regularly here, like the good girl I should be, and I get noticed by The Huffington Post? And Arianna Huffington personally offers me a generous salary to write for her? Bad, scary things would happen: I’d have to ‘fess up that I am actually a terrible writer, with a horrible perfectionist/procrastination problem, and WHAT IF I DON’T REALLY HAVE THE GOODS? I think I’m better off being unknown and broke, don’t you?
So, now that we’re all clear on what my Top 5 Pathetic Reasons I Haven’t Blogged Here In, Like, Forever are…who’s taking bets on how long until I post again?
See you all this Friday at the OurPDX Anniversary at Beer and Blog!
{ 4 comments }
You just earned your rum punch, baybeee!!!
Your forgot “6) No one promised me free booze for blogging… until the OurPDX one year birthday rolled around.”
In the tiki tiki tiki tiki tiki anniversary room in my basement.
Looking forward to getting my rum (and beer) on Friday!
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