Church’s Chicken is a southern-style fast food chicken restaurant that just opened up its first Metro-area location just a couple miles from my house. Tonight I talked my wife into checking out the new restaurant which opened this week (apparently today was their fourth day). It’s fast food chicken… what could possibly go wrong?
I ended up recording the adventure through a series of Twitter postings and a few photos. Arriving onsite, I could see that the parking lot was near full. I found an empty section of asphalt (never did figure out if it was an actual parking space) and parked. We opened the door and… wow. Packed. Most of the tables were full although there were a few empty ones. A bunch of people were standing near the front, holding receipts for their orders they had yet to receive. We checked out the menu and I got in line (about 18:50).
That line? Probably 10 minutes or so. Got my food ordered. Sat down. Then I had a revelation (as posted on Twitter):
I don’t think this restaurant has functional air conditioning
I also observed that while there were lots of folks standing around, there really wasn’t much food distribution going on. While I stood wondering if they were ever going to call any numbers (much less my own), I took a closer look around the restaurant. Every table was filled… but only one table had food. Other than that one table, the entire restaurant was tables with people waiting for food.
Fortunately, apparently they have menu items for less than a penny (see photo).
Wait… I got distracted by that stellar decimal point… what was I doing? Oh yeah, waiting for food:
32 minutes and counting waiting for chicken. This is…. something.
Over the next several minutes:
I see giant piles of chicken. I’m sure there’s a reason it’s not being served quickly. #churchsclusterfrak
many employees present, not many employees doing anything
Eventually:
After an hour and three minutes, we got our food. #churchsclusterfrak
And yes, they forgot part of the order. A few parting thoughts:
They need a sign over the door “Abandon hope all ye who enter here” #churchsclusterfrak
Pro tip: If you’re in the Portland area, it’s faster to drive to the Church’s Chicken in LongviewWoodland than to go to the one in Vancouver. #couve
And an hour after I got home:
I think I’ll have a cold drink now, my first one tonight. Yeah, that’s right. Church’s didn’t have ice. #churchsclusterfrak
I’m not sure what else there is to say. I get that it’s the first week, but wow. It was very much one of those “Could something else possibly go wrong? Hey look… it did!” situations.
If you’d like to have your own Church’s adventure, they’re on the corner of NE Fourth Plain and 112th in the building which was formerly an A&W.
{ 4 comments }
So you are griping about getting really bad service at a fast food place in Vancouver? Why are you posting it to this blog? This site at one time was generally relevant, now it just seems desperate.
omgomgomg There’s a fucking Church’s in Vancouver now!? I’m sorry for everything bad I ever said about Vancouver. Now to find one of my friends with a car and nothing to do for a couple hours…
I grew up in the South, original home of Church’s Fried Chicken. Your experience was typical of the chain.
Church’s sucks! F-them!!!
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