subtitled ‘The Ignite vs. BackFence PDX Epic Clash This Thursday Night’…
Once upon a time, we used to huddle around fires at night to keep warm. In order to fool ourselves into thinking we were safe from the wilding hordes, we told stories. Lots and lots of stories.
Some people grew into master storytellers. Others drew comfort from the tales themselves. And to this day, storytellers — and those who listen to them — continue to flourish in modern day society.
Here in Portland, we flock in droves to hear stories told by strangers. Why? Perhaps we delight in the uncomfortable-ness of others. Get to escape our own mundane realities. Feel safer for a minute or two from those wilding hipster hordes roaming SE Hawthorne or NW 21st. Who knows…?
But those of us who like our stories had our worlds rocked to the core a few weeks ago. And now? We must CHOOSE.
English or Irish? Greeks or Romans? David vs. Goliath? Superman vs. Lex Luthor? Road Runner vs. Coyote? Tom vs. Jerry? Emacs vs. VI? Jobs vs. Gates? Heaven help us, Pirates vs. Ninjas? Godzilla vs. Mothra?
No, it’s worse than that, people. It’s the ULTIMATE choice. Do you choose between Mommy…or Daddy? That’s right, kid – it’s the MOMMY vs. DADDY choice. And you MUST PICK ONE. (Or else no stories for you…!)
Sadly, that’s the dilemma many are facing tomorrow evening.
Ignite Portland 7
In this corner: Do they choose to attend Ignite Portland?
BackFencePDX
In the Other Corner: Or do they purchase tickets for BackFence PDX?
How can you choose? (Thankfully, I don’t have to — so I’m not going to decide for YOU. See, I can’t make either, thanks to the wonder that is Parent-Teacher Conference at middle school. Yes, kids trump all…)
But here’s my own handy-dandy cheat sheet to make it easier for you to scan the facts.
Oh, and if you want to see the other epic battler suggestions I got from my Twitter followers, do click the —more— link right —–>here, won’t you?
Arthur vs Mordred
Beowulf vs Grendel
Ninjas vs Pirates
Maverick vs Ice Man.
Burt vs. Loni
Could Care Less vs. Couldn’t Care Less
Dr. Horrible vs. Captain Hammer
Pine vs. Mail.app
Normans vs. Anglo-Saxons
Spy vs. Spy
Beowulf vs. Grendel
Cowboys vs. Indians
Church vs. State
Inigo Montoya vs. The Six-fingered Man
Batman vs. Joker
Order vs. Chaos
Olympians vs. Titans
Love vs. Reason
Popeye vs. Brutus
Keith Olbermann vs. Bill O’Reilly
Harvard vs. Yale
Smurfs vs. Gargamoyle
Ernest Hemingway vs. the adjective
Pacman vs. the Ghosts
User vs. SysAdmin
@camikaos vs. @turoczy (I’d have made a different choice myself…)
Yankees vs. Red Sox
Luke Skywalker vs. Darth Vader
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It’s really more of an Andre the Giant vs. Hulk Hogan battle (kickin’ it old school #ip2).
Honestly, I blame McMinamin’s.
Holy bad spelling batman, of course, I meant “McMenamin’s”
I think it was bound to happen. But we’re so happy that Portland has two events like this in town and crowds to support both.
Ignite after partayyyy!
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