YEEHAW!
As I compiled the list of things to do this weekend, I noticed a theme forming. What with all the warm rainy weather a week from Christmas, my activities took on a southern feel. So, chomp down on a piece of hay, fire up the El Camino and ride along. We gonna have us a time.
Food
The south is known for lots of things, but going hungry isn’t one of them. Despite eight million takeout/food cart options available, I figured I couldn’t get more southern than Hillbilly Bento. A co-worker has been daring me to try the place, and since it’s open 11-6 Monday through Friday, I could get there for breakfast before it closes.
Hillbilly Bento sits across from the US Bancorp Tower, aka Big Pink, in a building that has seen better days. They are the only open storefront on the block, and if not for sidewalk tables it would probably go unnoticed. I approached, peeked inside, and received a warm welcome from the lady at the counter. She was very nice, and not at all like the Granny Clampett I was expecting.
We could have been standing in Granny Clampett’s parlor, though. Country-fried nick-nacks adorn the walls, and a banjo-riffic soundtrack played through my visit. It’s a lot of eye candy to absorb, but the smell of the food keeps calling your attention back to why you are there:
The vittles.
I had Hillbilly Pork with dirty rice and mac & cheese. Served up in a recyclable container, it left little room for what would be the (confession) real reason I went to Hillbilly Bento. Chocolate. Pecan. Pie.
It looked like normal pecan pie. Were those raisins? Because raisins are a deal-breaker. I hate raisins. But I paid $3.50 for this slice of pie, and I will not be denied.
Those weren’t raisins, they were chocolate chips! Such a simple adjustment to a recipe, and such magical results. Look out Memphis Mafia, a new splurge dessert has entered the competition…
I hope this place makes it. I don’t lunch downtown often enough to make a difference, but maybe my bragging up the place will.
Hillbilly Bento (warning: obnoxious musical track kicks in)
211 SW 6th
(503)-808-9283
Clothing
Wondering what to get your guy or outdoor-loving kinda-butch GF for the holidays? Take a trip to the inner eastside to Andy and Bax, Portland’s longtime outpost for military surplus. I frequented Andy and Bax as a teen in the ’70s, and was happy to see not much has changed. I found the clothing I was looking for, saw stuff that will have me returning, and got in some prime people-watching to boot. Not many places you can be knocked out of line by a scruffy guy in a wheelchair looking for “a throwing hatchet, RIGHT NOW!” Since I was already in his way, I hurried along. For about $8, he could probably afford more than one.
Also, their brass knuckles are made of real brass, unlike the $5 pair I got at the gun show last millennium. Excuse me, those are paperweights. My bad.
They have gift certificates, so if anyone you know is into paramilitary clothing, or needs tarps, camping gear, or a SWAT vest, this is your spot. There’s enough gear here to deck you out like a member of the Florida National Guard. (Spit cup not included.)
And now? Time to put on that paramilitary raingear and come up with some northern-baked entertainment to counterbalance the weekend’s southern-fried activities…
{ 1 comment }
I also hate raisins! Humiliated grapes!
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