It seemed very strange being in the store on a Thursday afternoon, since I’m usually only in there all night on weekends.  All the Portlanders are freaking out that it hit 100 degrees today…..me, being from Texas….not so much.  Still….100 degree weather does fry some freaky behaviour out of some, and the lovely perverts of PDX obviously weren’t in the mood to disappoint me on this night.

She stumbled in out of the night, all black hair and pale white skin….a beautiful trainwreck of a lady.   Not sure what she was on or if she was just drunk but her shirt was unbuttoned all the way down to the bottom two and one of her ample breasts was completely exposed.  I thought about pointing this out to her, but then I reconsidered.  A breast?  In this palace of perversion?  Oh dang.

A lot of the other women who literally fall through the front door seem much further beyond all hope than this one…..she was rough for sure, but not too fargone plus she seemed very comfortable with herself and the world around her.  Still, I could see that she was actually very pretty underneath whatever had happened to her tonight……made me a little bit sad.

Anyways…..after showing her a variety of devices (which I am becoming increasingly and disturbingly an expert on), she settled on a bottle of “Liquid Virgin”, a lubricant with a chemical in it that causes the vagina to contract down to roughly half it’s size.   She wanted to preview a DVD in one of the private viewing rooms and I swear that the woman on the cover of the movie she chose was in fact…..her.  I could be wrong, but very few things suprise or shock me during porn duty anymore.

Not sure if it was the heat, but it’s surely going to get weirder over the next few nights.  Full moon ahead.  Vampires……werewolves……fetishists……oh my.

Related Posts

• October 19, 2008 -- SLL: The Sexisode (0)
• August 6, 2008 -- Porn Shop Diaries – An Introduction (19)
• July 28, 2009 -- Hot Pussy Photo!!! (2)
• May 9, 2009 -- Porn Shop Diaries: Karma Police…I Need Backup! (1)
• January 11, 2009 -- Porn Shop Diaries – It’s All About The Music Man… (4)

As you may have heard, Bikini Coffee is coming to Portland. The Salem-based coffee company is hoping its combination of hot coffee and hotter baristas will be able to make money downtown, and is currently moving into the former location of Caplan Sports World at 520 SW 5th Ave.

Like many other espresso outlets across the country, Bikini Coffee found out that they could significantly increase coffee sales by staffing their kiosks with scantily clad women.

At Bikini Coffee you will be able to order coffee by the cup — all the way up to a DD-cup! Okay, I made that up.

Critics say that these “sexpresso” shops are degrading to women, and that using sex to sell coffee is inappropriate.

Oh, puh-LEEZE. Sex is used to sell EVERYTHING in our culture, from new cars to breath mints. Putting women in bikini tops to sell coffee is no different than staffing your restaurant with cute waitresses, it’s just a little more heavy-handed.

Will I go to Bikini Coffee? Well, it depends on how good their coffee is. I only tried the food at Hooter’s twice before I had confirmed for myself that it wasn’t the chicken breasts that kept the customers flocking in: The food was awful. Maybe I’m in the minority, but it will take more than a pair of firm ta-tas to make me buy lousy coffee.

Related Posts

• March 20, 2010 -- Falling in Love With the Bean (0)
• February 21, 2010 -- 30 Years of Loving Portland (3)
• November 1, 2009 -- The Boogeyman Redux (0)
• October 13, 2009 -- Portland Pedal Power (2)
• July 1, 2009 -- What’s In A Name? (4)