CAUTION: I’m about to press the nostalgia button.

Portlanders ‘of a certain age’ grew up with an early morning institution, The Ramblin Rod Show. Weekday mornings from 7:30-8:30 were set aside for the most important thing in life, cartoons!

This was not just any cartoon show. Rod would have a passel of local kids come into the studios for taping the afternoon before, and everyone would get on TV during the Smile Contest. He would also single out the birthday guests for celebratory humiliation.

The cartoons were the best on the air. (With the possible exception of Saturday morning’s Looney Tunes hour.) Popeye was always in heavy rotation, and Bugs, Daffy, Elmer and the rest of the gang were there too. Ramblin Rod was a cartoon connoisseur.

I bring this up because Cort and Fatboy’s Midnight Movie is The Iron Giant, and Fatboy always puts together a spectacular previews/short subject reel. I hear rumors that there will be a showing of a very special Ramblin Rod episode tonight at the Bagdad Theater. If I hear correctly, this will be a Ramblin Rod episode for the ages. Fatty always outdoes himself on these mini-features.

So bust out the buttons, mix some whiskey into your Pop Shoppe soda and hop a bus down to The Bagdad. Doors at 10 PM, film fun starts at 11 PM. Cartoons and beer, and grown up kids aplenty. And by the time it’s over, it will be Saturday morning. What better time to indulge in cartoons?

I wonder how many times I’ve heard, “And now, let’s watch another Popeye cartoon!”…

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It’s been Christmas season for a couple of weeks. Now that Thanksgiving is out of the way, we can focus our full attention on the marketing of good cheer to the good ol’ USA.

Man, that sounds curmudgeonly.

I have issues with Christmas. I was raised in a strict religious environment where holidays, birthdays and anything fun and not directly focused on “The Lord” was viewed as a sin. My sister and I would sneak each other gifts throughout the month of December, and our parents would usually buy us something cool, but not on Christmas Day. They would never call it a Christmas present. Got to keep up appearances with the church.

As I got older, I made my own choices regarding religion, etc… but came to view Christmas as a financial obligation rather than a celebration. Part of my upbringing preached living like it’s Christmas year-round. Don’t save all your generosity for once a year; treat your loved ones like loved ones all year long. I try to live by that. Sort of an extension of the Golden Rule.

Therefore, I tend to view the Christmas season like others view tax time. I love doing my taxes! I usually get a refund. Christmas, if done right, costs a fortune.

So I embraced Halloween. It suits my style. (Although I could pass for Santa’s lazy, no-account little brother. Hmm, maybe next Halloween…) It doesn’t drag on the way Christmas seems to, and I’d rather hear spooky organ music than Winter Wonderland for the eight-millionth time.

And now, Cort and Fatboy have gotten in on the conspiracy. The Midnight Movie next week is The Nightmare Before Christmas. I have not seen this movie, although everyone says I’ll love it. It takes my favorite holiday and makes it all Christmassy? This could go horribly, horribly wrong. Like Twisted Sister’s caroling.

In Fatboy’s words:

After showing Christmas classics like “Die Hard” and “Gremlins,” during our 4 year run of monthly Midnight Movies, we’ve decided to close out 2009 and kick off the Christmas season with a 35mm print of “The Nightmare Before Christmas” at McMenamin’s Bagdad Theater Friday, December 4th. Theater is located at 3702 SE Hawthorne Blvd. Doors open at 10pm, film begins at 11pm. Admission is only 3 dollars, but you must be 21 or over to attend. Feel free to sing along at the screening

Since it’s Cort and Fatboy endorsed, I should at least check it out. The deal-sealer? They are showing Frankenweenie as a trailer! (If it’s half as good as Frankenhooker, it’ll be worth the $3.) Fatboy’s preview/short-subject reels are the best, and I’m compelled to show up just for those.

And if I don’t like the movie? It was three bucks. That’s a cheap date here in good ol’ PDX.

Leaves a lot left over to apply to the Santa Tax…

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Tired of the dreary weather already? Need an excuse for a cheap date? Step right up, have I got a deal for you!

It’s the first Friday of the month, which means it’s time for Cort and Fatboy’s Midnight Movie. November’s selection? The Coen Brothers’ Raising Arizona.

This is the first Midnight Movie since the boys moved on from the big radio station in the sky. They will continue to show films each month until at least January, and through 2010 if crowds keep turning up. I’m curious to see if they can pull a big crowd without 100,000 watts of promotional power.

Speaking of which, the boys are back. Starting November 9 at 2 PM, the Cort and Fatboy Show will resume podcasting. While these podcasts don’t come with the luxury of a paycheck, they will provide you with the mediocrity your life has been missing the past few weeks. If you need a reminder, check out this interview from PDXsucks.com. (They are the interviewees this time, and no Shinedown songs!)

So come to The Bagdad, have some tots and beers and watch the Coen Brothers’ early work while showing some love to Portland’s Lords of Mediocrity, the Sultans of Smartass, Cort and Fatboy.

Bagdad Theater
3702 S.E. Hawthorne Blvd.
Portland, OR 97214

Doors at 10 PM, Admission $3. 21 and older, because there will be booze available. Oh yes, there will be booze.

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(T)he(y) had a lot to say;
(T)he(y) had a lot of nothing to say,
We’ll miss them.
We’re gonna miss them…

As fans of Portland’s rowdiest rock station know, major shakeups have been happening. KUFO has gutted its on-air staff and brought in “talent” from around the country. I checked it out yesterday, and I’ll get to that in a minute, but first I want to reminisce about the last eighteen years or so. I was listening when the “mothership” docked the first time, and believe the first song played was Ozzy’s Flying High Again. (Maybe not, those were the drinking years…) I know KUFO played You Can’t Kill Rock & Roll to welcome in the new millennium; a moment that gave me the misties. I stood downtown, listening on a Walkman, waiting for the world to end.

I was a big fan of the Bill Prescott Show. He brought in Tawn Mastery, famous LA DJ and sweet-voiced sidekick. They also had a studio minion named Cort Webber from MOE-lolla. He claimed to be a celibate young man; said he’d never even masturbated. Maybe that’s why he was so no-nonsense when dealing with the 7 AM beer crowd. You could talk to Bill, but you had to get past Cort, who was a formidable call-screener.

Cort added to the show, in ways other than making me feel sorry for his asexual ass. He made a Pop-Up-Video audio parody of Marilyn Manson’s Beautiful People, which I remember as one of the funniest things I’d ever heard. (Disclosure: I would be listening on the sunrise side of a night of drinking, so everything on the Prescott Show was funny. Yup.) When Cort finally admitted that he wasn’t a frustrated pent-up virgin, a collective “Phew!” could be heard throughout the Portland area. I wonder how many times he lost his virginity that year?

Until last Friday, Cort had been working at KUFO as a producer, and for the last several years as a night and afternoon-drivetime personality. He’s had a motley assortment of sidekicks on-air. He produced Craig the Dog-Faced Boy and Porkchop’s afternoon show, then got a night-gig with a local youngster, Boomer. I met them at a KoRn concert simulcast, which was a hoot. Fifteen-year-old skater punks and their MILFy moms. I became a KoRn fan that day.

Boomer drifted off the radar, and Cort needed a new sidekick. A contest was held, and this fellow named Bobby ‘Fatboy’ Roberts was in the mix. He’d been part of the show somehow, and KUFO, back when they had some wisdom, gave him the slot with Cort. And so the transformation began. It was a match made somewhere holy.

The running joke was that KUFO listeners were mullet-wearing El Camino-driving tweaker types with Fu Manchu mustaches who smoke menthol 100s. Girls were sloppy drunks with whale-tails and ass-antlers. To admit you listened to (and enjoyed) KUFO was akin to calling yourself an inbred yokel. Cue the hipster eyeroll.

Fatboy whipped out his bag of tricks, and things began changing. The intellect of the callers (on-air anyway) rose dramatically. Instead of poop and titty jokes, the conversation focused on pop culture, beer, world news, (guns, drugs, violence…) Man, I miss Dirty Laundry.

And the games! While not exactly a game, Thunderdome was a favorite part of my week. Cort and Fatboy pick songs not in heavy rotation, and the listener chooses the winner, usually with a smartass comment. Since I don’t have enough outlets for my smartass comments (ahem) I had to play along every week. My personal favorite? One time Cort played Spinal Tap’s Big Bottom. I called, and in my best Michael Clarke Duncan impersonation, said “MOE-lolla wants to tap that ass!” That earned a “YIKES!” from Fatboy.

Of course, the highlight of the week was Stump The Movie Douche. Being a film fan, this was right up my alley, and co-workers loved playing along. The first time I got him, I used Robin Williams and Florence Henderson, which earned me Nine Inch Nails tickets. There was another well-documented incident involved Laura Dern and Diane LANE. You can read about that here.

I still have my ace-in-the-hole Douche-Stumper, in case they ever have Tool tickets up for grabs again. It’s borderline cheesedick, (listeners know the term) but if it gets me into Tool…

Cort and Fatboy have resurrected the Midnight Movie. I used to go every weekend back in the late ’70’s-early ’80s. To have a modern day version, in a theater that sells BEER? When I was a young’un we had to sneak our own beer in! There was no kind host to feed us tater tots while we waited in line. You little bastards should be so lucky! And you can be: There’s another one coming up Friday November 6, at the Bagdad Theater. It’s Raising Arizona, and I plan on showing up for old time’s sake. I’ve put off going before. “Oh, there’ll be another one next month.” Maybe. Maybe not. Radio is a fickle bitch.

A Tweet-up of One

I caught a glimpse of their appearance at Live on The Square, through the window. (That’s my shadow above Fatboy’s left shoulder, if you saw it on TV.) I’d hoped it wouldn’t be the last time I saw them. What if a ‘real’ city heard their stuff and took them away? I’m hoping they land on a local show with tolerable music. If they go country, I *will* be investing in podcast gear.

And now to the fun part of the show: evaluating the New KUFO. It was probably smart of Alpha Broadcasting to let the smoke clear before bringing on the new crew. Despite the emotional attachments to the on-air personalities, I listen to the station for the music. The early part of the week was tough on me. I like, no need the pulse-pounding neck-hair-raising caterwaul of cookie-monster rock to get through my day. I love shouting down crackheads to the melodic strains of Slipknot, and practically dance a jig when I hear Disturbed’s Down With The Sickness. Dropkick Murphys at noon? Dude, that’s better than a breakfast beer. And there’s no other channel in Portland, except maybe KBOO, where I’ll hear Tool or the Butthole Surfers. Mellow music has its place in my life, but I need slaughterhouse rock when I’m at work.

So how are the new guys doing? I’d say “Meh” but the phrase is already taken. My first moments on the new KUFO went like this: Linkin Park song fades out, new DJ asks a woman caller, “What up, Snapper?”

Nice to see you brought your manners.

She hung up on him when he asked her how big her “fat-bags” were. Then five minutes of commercials, two songs, and five more minutes of commercials.

The fellow that replaced Cort and Fatboy? He supposedly hates blacks and gays, referring to things he doesn’t like as gay. His on-air voice sounds like a cross between a constipated Craig the Dog-Faced Boy and Fiddy Cent on Quaaludes. I didn’t catch any funny, just misogyny and rudeness. I can tune him out easily, though. If he talks too long, KINK is right next door. Alpha won’t let its DJs talk for too long anyway, I’m guessing. Got to get those ads on!

If there’s a pleasant surprise to this, it’s the return of Marconi. Yes, you read that right. While I’ve met Marconi, and he seems like a nice man, I never listened to his show much. His KNRK days were mash-up/remix heavy, with too much white noise for me to tolerate for any length of time. At KUFO his show reminded me of being next to loud people in a quiet bar. Great if you’re drunk, but I wasn’t. I tended to surf during his shows, especially when he’d rerun the first two hours to make the second two hours of his show. While I liked Cort and Fatboy at night when my brain is firing, their replacing him for drive-time wasn’t the end of the world.

And now he’s the epitome of good taste, compared to the new crew. I hope he continues to just be himself, and not try to outshock the new guys. Will I continue to listen to KUFO? Yeah, even thought I heard the Foo Fighters and Linkin Park ten times each during my workday yesterday. I hope they get back to playing Tool. Pantera has gone missing. Guys? They play Linkin Park everywhere, and hearing the “Cocaine/Champagne” song four times in an afternoon is too much. I noticed they play a few artists on a two-hour rotation. More choice Ozzy cuts, guys? Even KGON plays Crazy Train. A nod to Motorhead would be nice.

And if you’re gonna bust out the Culture Club to be funny, play the whole goddamn song. No one is gonna be pissed off (or amused) by a sound byte. Yes, I really want to hurt you.

I miss Cort and Fatboy already. I get teased for my terrestrial radio-loving ways, but I’m old, and habits die hard. I get a thrill when my wisecracks come back to me through the little magic box. I like listening to my imaginary buddies who keep my brain busy as I bang through the monotony of the work day.

KUFO, you talk about having balls. Perhaps my favorite moment ever on KUFO? Cort and Fatboy were playing My Rock, and accidentally (?) played the uncut version of Marilyn Manson’s Cake and Sodomy. It was about 11:30 at night, and my fellow redheaded co-worker turned that sucker up and sang along like a crazed banshee.

“White trash get down on your knees… Time for cake and sodomy…”

Got balls, KUFO? Put your racist money where your mouth is and play that song on drivetime.

(Don’t forget the midnight movie, kids.)

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Friday night we were joined in studio by Curtis Chen, better known to you twitter types as sparCKL. The two episodes can be easily broken down so I think I’ll do just that:

In the Tech episode we talk to Curtis about writing, his site 512 Words or Fewer and Puzzle Hunts.

SLL Episode 141: 512 Words, Stories and Puzzles with Curtis Chen

Watch the Tech Edition

In Afterhours things got away from us a little, but before we got out of hand Curtis read his 512 Words or Fewer piece “The Wren and the Hen and the Men in the Pen”. Other than that (which was my favorite part of the show) Dr Normal introduced us to his alien “friend”, he ranted on his opinion of the work of Joss Whedon and then we talked about the sad, anger inducing, untimely end of the Cort and Fatboy show. For those of you who missed it Bobby “Fatboy” Roberts joined us on last week’s episode. You can find the Tech Edition and Afterhours episodes with Bobby and Will Radik here.

SLL Episode 142: Afterhours with Curtis Chen

Watch Afterhours

Cort & Fatboy: We’re sad to see you guys off the radio, but we’re hoping you’ll pop back up soon to bring us all the smartassery the Portland people have come to love from you guys. The SLL Studio is open to you if you need it.

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I’m going to try to refrain from using foul language, but no promises. I’m writing this in a fit of barely contained rage.

Alpha Broadcasting has recently purchased several local radio stations, including KUFO. KUFO has never been the pinnacle of highbrow music, but it feeds the sweaty masses with knucklehead rock and occasional snips of hilarity. Or, between 3 PM-7 PM, constant doses of hilarity.

KUFO, in its infinite wisdom, has fired all the remaining talent at the station, The Cort and Fatboy Show most notably. (The Rick Emerson Show was also canceled, but I don’t get up that early.) I came home from a lovely afternoon to find the topic exploding on Twitter. Fatboy’s Tweets are humble and surprisingly upbeat, befitting his personality. This pisses me off to the extreme, because I listen to their show every day at work. You can bet I will be boycotting KUFO for a while, if not indefinitely. If the lineup is like what I’m hearing about, I will NOT be listening.

This is from PDXsucks.com:

We at Portland Sucks and PDX.FM would like to cordially invite you to express your anger, your sadness, your fondest memories – because we know that you loved listening to Cort and Fatboy every day too. We’ve set up a voicemail line at 503.928.5174 and encourage you to tell KUFO and Alpha Broadcasting how you feel – or, if being pissy isn’t your thing, tell us how much you’ll miss Cort and Fatboy. We don’t need your names if you don’t want to give them but we do want your thoughts and opinions.

I’ve heard through the Twittervine that there will be a hoisting or ten of the glasses in their honor at the Horse Brass Pub tonight at 8 PM. (No word if the boys will show, but I hope they do.) I will raise my Diet Dr Pepper in your honor and avoid the bottle of whiskey calling my name right now.

Guys, you’ve made my afternoons for the last several years. I’ve had an outlet for my smartass remarks during Thunderdome, I’ve stumped The Movie Douche more than once, and even got to attend a Blazer game with Cort and Fatboy. My one regret: I’ve procrastinated attending their Midnight Movies. I’d always assumed there would be one next month.

This makes me want to go out and stomp on some chickens, but it’s not the chickens’ fault. AUGHH! The only thing keeping me calm right now is the knowledge that they are so talented, so funny, that there’s no way they’re going to be off Portland radio for very long.

And where they turn up, so shall I.

KUFO? You can kiss my rosy red ass.

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Attention space cadets!

Been hearing Darth Vader’s deep breathing every time you answer the phone? Get an image of Luke Skywalker every time someone offers to lend you a hand? Then I’ve got the movie for you:

On July 3rd, KUFO’s Cort and Fatboy are bringing Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back to the big screen for the first time since 1997 with the latest in their monthly series of Midnight Movies at the Bagdad Theater. The screening is a charity benefit with all proceeds going to Doernbecher Children’s Hospital. Along with the exclusive presentation of what is widely regarded as the greatest movie of the Star Wars saga, members of the 501st Legion Cloud City Garrison Star Wars costuming club will be on hand to take pictures and interact with the fans. Tickets are $5 and can only be purchased after 9pm on the day of the show at the Bagdad Box Office. 21 and Over only.

Confession: I haven’t seen The Empire Strikes Back. Not even on TV. I’ve seen all the “new” films, and the original Star Wars many times. I still feel a bit ripped off, because back in 1978 or so I was suckered into seeing the original Star Wars because “once it leaves the theaters, YOU WILL NEVER SEE IT AGAIN!” (Kind of like Kiss’s everlasting farewell tour, I guess.) I was proud of my teenage boycott of things overly commercial/mass appeal. Disco was popular, for god’s sake. My fellow man can be a bit shallow in the grey matter department, but I had to see for myself. I was impressed. My favorite scene was where Luke was in the desert with two suns beating down. I’ve always been a sucker for a beautiful sunset.

I kept falling asleep during the second film, and never bothered with TESB. But now I have that chance. I’m guessing there’ll be no sleeping at this showing.

Then again, if they’d served beer at the Westgate back in the day, I might have been able to stay awake…

Thanks to the internet for the picture of Yoda getting, ahem, centered…

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I’m a bit honked off at my favorite radio station.

Since it came on the air in 1990, I have listened to KUFO 101.1. It’s hard-edged knucklehead rock with a tinge of juvenile humor. I’ve seen the DJs come and go, and am rarely happy when they go. (I’m still holding a grudge against Howard Stern for killing The Bill Prescott Show, for example.) I’ve listened long enough that I take it personally when I feel I’ve been wronged. Brace yourselves: Grown man whining ahead…

I *love* the Cort and Fatboy Show. Cort has been at the station since he interned during the Prescott years, evolving into a fine host in his own right. Sidekicks have come and gone, but the addition of Bob ‘Fatboy’ Roberts was genius. They have great rapport, the conversation flows with laughs aplenty. I preferred when they were on later at night, but am glad they survived the recent round of job cuts. Early afternoon is better than not at all, right? I consider it my favorite radio show.

I enjoy their call-in participation events and radio games. My favorite game is Stump the Movie Douche. Briefly, you pick two actors in a movie, if Fatboy can’t name the movie you win a prize. I’ve stumped him a couple times, and been slaughtered mercilessly other times. Last night, I stumped him.

And he hung up on me.

Fatboy has several rules, the one that grinds on him most is violating ‘the spirit of the game.’ Coming at him with Erica Hubbard & Leonardo Nam? You’d get a “Who the hell are they?” followed by severe mocking when you gave the answer. Confusing a black actor? HONK! Wrong! (Someone once mistook Robert Guiallaume for Sidney Poitier.) Don’t even think about using a Larry the Cable Guy movie.

He also hates vanity stumps, just beating him for the thrill of it. He will ask you outright if you want the prize if he’s unable to come up with the answer. Knowing all this, I try to save a couple of impossible-to-get submissions for when I really want the prize. (Last win? NIN tickets!) Last night’s booty? Tickets to an upcoming Trainblazer game with Cort and Fatboy themselves.

I wanted those tickets. BAD! I dialed, got through on the first try, and was thrilled when they picked up immediately. The conversation went something like this:

“Stump… the movie douche!”

“I have Laura Dern and Diane Lane.”

“Wild at Heart!” sang out Fatboy.

“Uh, no Fatboy, Diane Lane. L-A-N-E. Diane Ladd is Laura Dern’s mother. Diane Lane and Laura Dern were in-”

“Gotta GO!” They hung up on me.

It was like a knife plunged into my heart. They wouldn’t even give me time to explain about Ladies and Gentlemen: The Fabulous Stains, and how Diane Lane and Laura Dern were so young, and Laura Dern fought for emancipation to be in the film because MOM Diane Ladd thought she was too young to be doing that sort of thing. I was also going to point out the very young Ray Winstone as an angsty punk rocker/love interest of Diane Lane’s character.

The snappishness of Fatboy’s retort made me think of Ray Winstone’s line in The Departed. “Cranberry juice? What is it, your period?”

So, yeah, I was bummed about missing out on the Blazer tickets. (I have a friend who has taken me to a couple of games, and I wanted to repay the favor. Besides being hard to get, Blazer tix are expensive!) Mostly, I was crushed at being so casually dismissed.

I realize the point of the whole thing is to make entertaining radio, and I was trying to do my part. The fact that I got through in the first place to win a prize I absolutely wanted and righteously won was at once exhilarating and then deflating. I was edited out of the aired segment, like it never happened. I felt betrayed. Can I get a flock of wah-wahs here?

Fatboy, you make a big deal about people mixing up their black actors. Perhaps there should be a rule about mixing up hottie-white-girl-actresses as well?

Will I hold a grudge? Nah, I can’t seem to listen to any other station for more than an hour before the need for cookie-monster rock arises. Did I rebel? Absolutely. I boycotted the rest of the show, deciding to see what other options were out there. I ended up on 97.1 Charlie, where at least I get to hear my name on the radio. The music? Well… the first song was Kid Rock’s Cowboy. I heard Metallica’s Enter Sandman, along with Cheap Trick. A co-worker remarked that he never thought he’d see the day he’d find me jamming to The Bee Gees. (I had to tell the story of the time I went joy-riding while listening to the soundtrack to Saturday Night Fever. Hmm… future Douche question forming…) I heard Supertramp’s Breakfast in America, which was in heavy rotation when I got my first apartment thirty years ago. I had to retreat when We Are Family came on.

So, KUFO? I’m mad at you, but I’ll get over it. (I’m pouring a glass of cranberry juice as I write this.) It’s funny how personally I’m taking this, but radio is like that. It starts to feel like they’re talking to you, and that they are your friend. I’ve talked to Cort and Fatboy several times, on-air and off, and they are always nice. Sorry I pissed you off, Fatboy, but the idea of the game *is* to stump you.

Want to make it better? I’ve given up on the thought of actually going to the ballgame with you guys, much as I’d like to. But what you could do? Quit playing that GODDAMNED OFFSPRING SONG every hour! I heard it six times the other day. You would not believe how quickly I can find the off-switch on the radio.

Otherwise, we cool…

Update: Fatboy has since e-mailed me, and all is well in radio nirvana. I do, however, reserve the right to eviscerate him with a future stump. I’m saving it for the next time Tool goes on tour…

Update II: Redemption! Just got another e-mail from Fatboy. I’ve been granted tickets, and will get to go to the game. They are gentlemen and scholars! (I should quit calling them names, huh?)

Thank you for reaffirming my allegiance to KUFO.

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In the fickle world of radio, change happens at breakneck speed, often without mercy. Yesterday the hatchet of death reached across the country, and heads rolled.

I’ve been listening to KUFO (101.1 FM) since the beginning. As in the very beginning. I was up at midnight when KRCK (?) officially went away, and the new call letters and format were announced. “Circling high… over planet Earth…” It played a mix of classic rock with newer stuff, leaving Steve Miller and Bob Seger to the left of the dial. Over time, the music got harder, and the personalities more engaging. Being a fan of knucklehead cookie monster rock, it became *my* station.

Before Howard Stern came along and f*cked everything up, I’d get up in the middle of my night (early morning) to listen to the Bill Prescott Show. A mix of comedy, commentary, news and rock & roll, it set the tone for my wacky-ass day. I’d call in, enter the contests, play the games. I had several audio cassettes of me making a fool of myself. Bill brought in famed Los Angeles DJ Tawn Mastery, oh she of teh sexxy voice. Luscious!

There was a kid in the background, an intern. Cort Webber. He inadvertently gave me the answer to a contest one day:

Bill P.: “Cort, what’s the question?!”

Cort: “Brett Favre!”

Bill P.: “No, the question…”

I won the contest…

One night KUFO had a meet and greet at the sports bar around the corner from where I lived. I went, and got an autographed postcard from Cort and Tawn. Cort looks so darling in his Chris Isaak hairdo. I still have it somewhere.

Howard Stern came along and took over the morning. I still haven’t forgiven him for killing off my favorite radio show. But if there was a bright side, Cort kept his job as an intern. He started working with Craig the Dog-Faced Boy and Pork Chop. This evolved into an evening slot with Boomer. For whatever reason Boomer disappeared, and soon there was a NKOTB.

Enter Bob ‘Fatboy’ Roberts. (Well, don’t literally enter Fatboy Roberts. I don’t think he’d like that. “Oh, Voltron!…) He brought a snappy wit and an intelligence that compliments Cort’s everyman demeanor, without curbing the sophomoric spirit of the show(s). He started my favorite radio contest, Stump the Movie Douche. (Fatboy being the douche.) You name two actors in a movie, if he doesn’t guess the movie, you win a prize. (Robin Williams and Florence Henderson* won me Nine Inch Nails tickets!)

Thunderdome? It’s a weekly chance to hear your own voice on the radio. It’s a simple call-in, voting for your favorite of two songs; brownie points if you can crack up the DJs. Some are better at it than others, ahem.

I got to work yesterday and turned on the radio, surprised to hear Cort’s voice in the afternoon. WTF? I kept shushing co-workers and soon got the details. Marconi had been fired/laid off, and the Cort and Fatboy Show has been moved to the afternoon.

While I wish Marconi all the best, I’m glad ‘my boys’ made the cut. It’s gonna be a little weird hearing them first thing in my morning. They’re usually finishing up about the time I get off work; my time-space continuum is going to be a bit warped for a week or two.

The afternoon shift is probably great for them. Home with the spouses and kids at a reasonable hour. TV without TiVo. Have they hit the big-time?

I hope they don’t dilute the spirit of the show, although I don’t expect to hear the unedited version of Marilyn Manson’s Cake and Sodomy anytime soon. Oops! I bet they wish people would forget about that one. If the FCC comes calling, just blame Bozyk…

The afternoon will bring a fresh audience, I hope it’s a tolerant one. Cort has shown longevity, and Fatboy brings nothing but good things to the show. Yesterday they described themselves as “a Nuclear Cockroach and a Radioactive Twinkie.”

I certainly hope they are around that long.

*Shakes the Clown.

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