I know what you did last night…

Well, I know what some of you did last night. For the first time since 1998, Halloween fell on a Saturday night. Portlanders seemed to treat it accordingly.

I skipped dressing up this year. I had no real inspiration, no event to go to. I attended the Paranormal Party a few years back, dressed in Little Orphan Annie wig, red pearls and pink muu-muu. (Not tutu, as a co-worker tells everybody. There is a difference.) It matched my beard. Last year I did an evil clown thing. This year I was an observer.

And still I managed to scare.

Courtesy of Outlaw Vern

The last few years you’d think Freddy Krueger lived on our street. The next-door neighbor kids would knock, but most would pile into cars and go to richer neighborhoods. I bought two bags of candy, figuring we’d have one and three-quarters bags left over, plus what the kids scored.

They were gone in an hour.

My niece, a Purple Witch, stood at the driveway entrance, handing out Snickers and Milky Ways. Our killer attack dog would go nuts with every group, adding to the effect. I watched from out of sight, ready to get truly scary should anything inappropriate happen. A couple of punked-out teenagers complimented her on her get-up, and gave her some of their candy. Sweet!

Soon we had to kill the lights and hide in the dark. The groups of trick or treaters lasted two hours longer than our candy stash. The kids took to the streets; it was their turn.

I did my part for the parents. I’d switch from Ducks game to Blazer game to World Series, and hear hootin’ and hollerin’ from outside my window as mom and dad caught the score. There were years that I would offer shots and beers to parents; but having kids put an end to that. Effin’ responsibility. Got to put on a good front.

After things quieted down, I hopped a bus to downtown. Hawthorne didn’t look that much different than usual. I saw Japanese girls in bee costumes, many six-foot-plus trannies-for-a-night, and more blood-soaked brides than Henry VIII. I’d like to give a shout-out to the gal in the gold lame mini-skirt that was just a size too small. The curtains matched the carpet. -

The place to be? Down near the waterfront. Paddy’s and Jammin’ 107.5 had a tent on SW 1st and Yamhill, and the line to get in was a block long. Club Sesso had events going on, tied in with the Crystal Ballroom’s Annual Erotic Ball. I was offered a free admittance pass from a friend, but had to politely decline. I had no date, no costume. (What was I gonna do, go as a Road Warrior?) As much as I’d love to meet (and write about) Ron Jeremy, I’ll try to do that on a quieter night.

The bus ride home was full of drunks. One kid had peed his pants and was using his bicycle for stabilization. I must say, the partiers of the female persuasion were looking exceptionally nice. It would be just fine with me if y’all showed that much leg every Saturday night!

It was kind of odd for me, seeing so many folks out and about. The walk home is usually devoid of human contact in the wee hours. I walked past a young mother and her son, who looked about five. She shied away, giving a cautionary hello. The youngster, who caught no evil vibe, said, “Happy Halloween, mister!”

Aww.

So we are done with Halloween for another year. (Most of us anyway. Some of us like doing the spooky thing year ’round.) Now the only thing you have to worry about going bump in the night is me…

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Halloween or the Night Podcasting Died

Commemorate the ‘day podcasting died’ with a very special Halloween episode hosted by Cami’s evil twin Killmilla Kaos, her man slave Dr. Strange and very special guest, Baron von Bacon.

As always you can listen to the shows here, download them, subscribe or pick us up on itunes.

***

Join us Friday November 7th at 10 PM with guest Chris O’Rourke. I’ll talk to him about Doctor Who and Dr Normal will talk to him about Drum Corps. What could be better?

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19 years ago my husband, a lifelong Portland resident, made this creepy little video to celebrate Halloween…  Now I share it with all you.

Happy Halloween to you and yours.  If you’re out tonight be safe and keep your eyes wide open.

***

Join us tonight at 10 PM for special Halloween episode of Strange Love.  It won’t be live, but it’ll be quite lively.  Join us at the usual time and place for a very special episode hosted by my evil twin Killmilla Kaos, her man slave Dr. Strange and a very special guest you’re sure to gobble up.

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Saw this ghostly Halloween rowboat on the Willamette today. It was eerily drifting along by the Burnside Bridge around 12:45pm.

It was a little spooky — as if Charon fell out while he was ferrying passengers on the River Styx.

Happy Halloween everyone.

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After stopping by the little grocery store on NW 11th & NW Northrup, I continued my walk to the office and came across these…pods…at two different places along NW 16th. Will they hatch after dark? Beware!

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Courtesy of Wizardboots!

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If you are looking for something to do on Friday, I highly recommend a tour of the Lone Fir Cemetery. The graveyard has a storied past. Actors dress up as ghosts of various infamous characters buried there and recite their story whilst standing on their actual grave. Creepy and oh so delightful. Wear some warm gloves and bring a thermos of hot cider. It’s a hoot. I’ve gone for the past two years. I give it three thumbs up. Wikipedia has a nice entry on the history of the cemetery.

Information from the Friends of Lone Fir Cemetery Web site:

Friday, October 31
Rain or Moonshine
Tours are approximately 45 minutes in length and will occur between 6:00 p.m. and 9:00 p.m. at the Southeast 26th and Stark Street entrance of the cemetery
$5.00 suggested donation

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The work week is winding down, and I am grateful. It’s been one of those weeks, where it seems like full moon behavior even though that’s still a week away. Must be the onset of fall.

A friend sent me this link a while back, knowing I’d appreciate the behavior. While the behavior is typical year-round in my neighborhood, the outfit certainly isn’t. However, that particular outfit and I have a history…

A few years back, I won tickets to KUFO’s Paranormal Party. A gal-pal and I were spending virtually all our off-work time together, and she was my default date for just about everything. When I invited her, it wasn’t a case of “I have nothing to wear!” It was a case of “Which wacky outfit best fits this occasion?” Yep, she had that exact same cow costume. She looked so cute, bovine with bright pink pigtails.

Then there was me, looking fah-bulous dahling in my bright red muu-muu with red faux-pearls and Little Orphan Annie wig. (My red beard really brought the costume together.) Fortunately no pictures of that night exist. A co-worker has started a mini-urban legend, telling everyone it was a red tu-tu. No no no… Big difference between tu-tus and muu-muus! (Although the hilarity factor would have been through the roof, and I probably would have done it…) I cringe at the thought of my legacy as being similar to that of the hippo ballerina from ‘Jungle Book‘ Fantasia. I’m much more comfortable with a Bruce Vilanch image in people’s heads.

The night was fantastic. The Paranormal Party was held at the Crystal Ballroom, featuring all cover bands. (I especially liked the Iron Maidens, an all-girl tribute band. I’m hot for Steady Edith…) Time has erased most of the costumes from my memory, but another couple sticks in my mind. He was Tom Cruise from Risky Business. Necktie, sunglasses and tighty whities. (Truly risky business in the pink zone on a Saturday night.) The gal? She was a tall, busty gorgeous cavewoman, complete with Flintstones outfit and club. She followed me around the whole night, threatening to bonk me over the head and drag me back to her cave. I should have let her. But that would have meant leaving my date with an already mostly-undressed Tom Cruise lookalike, which I’m sure would have put off my date. (Yeah, right.)

Because we were busing, we left early. As we stumbled onto Burnside, a a fellow of temporary residence and questionable temperance approached us, asking for spare change. My date had a long overcoat covering her costume. She looked at him, opened her overcoat like a flasher, and showed him the udders, which were slung low and looked like, well, the Gattling gun of penises. The bum’s jaw dropped, he stumbled away muttering, probably looking desperately for a CHIERS wagon.

I will *not* be in drag this year. (My costume is Top Secret Clown Business this time around.) How about you? Any good costume ideas, stories? Christmas season starts in a couple weeks, so let us make the most of Halloween! It falls on a Friday night this year.

You can bet I’m gonna be downtown…

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