I spent ages 10-18 in a small town in rural western Colorado. The nearest shopping mall was an hour and a half drive through the desert away. The anchor stores at this mall were Mervyn’s and Target. Going to the mall was a Big Deal that was planned weeks ahead of time. You made lists and packed snacks because you were going to the metropolis that was Grand Junction. Lord knows what glittering opportunities and big town evils awaited you there. You could get discovered or mugged.

The Christmas exodus to Mesa Mall was a special one. About halfway between my little town and the big city was a lone pine tree that grew by the side of the road. Each year, an anonymous person or persons would decorate this tree for Christmas. They even managed to have working lights on the tree, despite the fact that it was located smack dab in the middle of nowhere. It was spectacular in a folksy sort of way. It was a beacon of hope in an otherwise desolate environment.

This would probably explain why, growing up, I always imagined that Christmas shopping downtown in a major US city would be the ultimate holiday experience. In my shopping fantasy the streets are lined with larger-than -life holiday decorations made of tinsel and lights. Each storefront window is more spectacular and magical than the last. Shoppers carry brightly decorated shopping bags. Little kids hold a parent’s hand and look up in a constant state of amazement and wonder. The city square is filled with carolers and revelers and an ice skating rink.

::play Silver Bells here::

This is so NOT the downtown Portland shopping experience. In fact, now that Meier & Frank is no more, gone are the mechanized 12 days of Christmas holiday window displays which were the closest thing to holiday magic downtown Portland had. Yes, there is still the big tree in Pioneer Square – but it isn’t really enough of a reason to pack up your kids and deal with all the hassles of parking and panhandling.

There’s just not that much downtown for a family with kids to see. So, I was a little bit surprised to find that Pioneer Place even has a shopping mall Santa. I was even more surprised to find that this Santa is by far the jolliest of all the Santas I have encountered so far.

Pioneer Place Santa doesn’t have a lot to do. Every Santa that I have visited so far has had a slow but steady stream of visits from the under-seven set. I saw Pioneer Place Santa chat it up with a pack of teenagers, but other than that — he was all by himself. Well, there is Santa’s photo elf — but I suspect that the Santa/photo elf relationship is a contentious one.

Santa does not take this lack-of-business thing sitting down. Santa stands in front of his standard-issue green wingback chair and waves to shoppers as they ride the escalators that flank Santaland (SantaKiosk is more accurate). He calls out “Merry Christmas! Ho! Ho! Ho!” like a carnival barker.

I found this practice endearing but one commenter on Behind the Beard says that Pioneer Place Santa also likes to shout out what you wanted for Christmas as a child. That might be taking things a little too far. Either way, Santa’s energy and enthusiasm are fairly remarkable considering the circumstances. I felt like Santa really wanted me to have a Merry Christmas.

I sat and pondered Santa’s somewhat unnatural jollyness. Could Santa possibly be using performance enhancers and if so – what is he on? And then the answer hit me. SantaKiosk is right next to the Moonstruck Chocolate stand. Maybe Santa is a sugar addict? My theory was confirmed when Santa sat down for a moment and had a little four candy cane snack.

I understand, Santa. We all have our ways to cope with holiday stress.

Still, if you want to avoid long lines and your fellow shoppers, Pioneer Place Santa is your man. He has plenty of time on his hands and can give your little darling the special attention he or she deserves. This Santa is very personable and easy going. When I asked if I could take his photo, Santa was very agreeable. Even Santa’s photo elf gave me the okay. See?

Next Up – Downtown Macy’s Santa
Previous Santa’s – Clackamas Town Center, Lloyd Center, Washington Square

Related Posts

• December 24, 2009 -- Behind the Beard – Bridgeport Village Santa (7)
• December 23, 2009 -- Behind the Beard – Portland Macy’s Downtown Santa (2)
• December 17, 2009 -- Behind the Beard – Washington Square Santa (4)
• December 15, 2009 -- Behind the Beard – Lloyd Center Santa (4)
• December 7, 2009 -- Portland Shopping Mall Santas – A Comparative Study (0)

I *so* wanted to yell this at the mall today.

Now, before you get all busy wapping me with your umbrella and calling me a masher, I really mean it. I saw some nice looking cans at Pioneer Place this afternoon.

I’m a sucker for the beach, and when I saw the lighthouse, I got excited. I haven’t been to the beach this millennium. On blustery days I open the window, listen to the rain and pretend I’m at Seaside. After snapping a picture, I went downstairs to read the plaque.

Oregon Food Bank is having its 13th annual Canstruction® this week, and the lower floor of the mall has been overtaken with shapes not usually seen there. I’ve seen the last few exhibits, and the creativity is exceptional this year.

I don’t recall if it’s been done, but I’d love to see a Spongebob Squarepants made out of creamed corn and spinach. Oreos for eyes?

I’ll settle for a ride in this cool-looking buggy though.

In these tight financial times, more folks than ever are hitting the food banks. If you’d like to help, you can make a donation through the Oregon Food Bank’s website and participating stores.

Related Posts

• December 21, 2009 -- Behind the Beard – Pioneer Place Santa (2)
• December 18, 2009 -- 30 Hour Day: (no longer) LIVE NOW! (0)
• April 11, 2009 -- Blazer Rally downtown in Pioneer Place next Thursday 4/16 (1)
• March 24, 2009 -- Benefit for the Bus Project and the Oregon Food Bank (0)
• February 10, 2009 -- Harold and Maude Make it Back to the Big Screen (3)

The Portland Trail Blazers wind down the regular season with a last push to land home-court advantage for the first round of the NBA playoffs between now and next Wednesday night. But once we finish with the Denver Nuggets? We’ll all have a chance to celebrate in Portland’s living room sometime Thursday afternoon (time TBA; follow the Blazers on Twitter for updates.)

Need even more reasons to get inspired and/or excited? Check this NBA Playoff video featuring Brandon Roy & the Blazers (on YouTube):

From the KGW story:

The 2009 NBA Playoffs begin on April 18 and 19. The Trail Blazers first-round opponent and game dates and times will be determined no later than April 15, after the conclusion on the NBA’s regular season schedule.

“The rally gives us an opportunity to thank the NBA’s best fans,” Trail Blazers CMO Sarah Mensah said, “It’s a chance to celebrate an incredible season, wish the team luck and build the excitement before the playoffs get started.”

If you don’t already have your tickets (I’m not a season ticket holder myself, so am SOL — unless someone wants to comp me one so I can do some liveblogging, perhaps…??? Worth a shot, no?), extra playoff tickets will also go on sale promptly at noon on Thursday at the ticket box office itself at the Rose Quarter. There are only 1,000 available for each game, with a limit of four tickets per person.

Rip City Uprise

Related Posts

• December 4, 2009 -- What is the Sound of One Man Clapping? (7)
• November 8, 2009 -- Blazer Fever – Don’t Catch It (0)
• April 16, 2009 -- Trail Blazers Find their Rhythm At Just the Right Time (0)
• April 10, 2009 -- Blazers vs Lakers Post-Game Report (0)
• April 5, 2009 -- OurPDX shared links for April 5th (0)

I call this guy Fred Silverman. He makes money doing nothing. Nothing at all.

Okay, once in a while he plays with his balls. Don’t you wish people would walk up to you and give you money for playing with *your* balls?

And, as much as I hate to spoil his gig, I think the public should know: He’s not really silver. I sat behind him on the bus one day, and saw a patch of skin the size of a quarter behind his ear!

Statue Man has been around these parts for years, thrilling children and befuddling drunks. He’s been profiled numerous times, so I will link instead of reiterate.

In a world where panhandlers consider work buying a Sharpie and finding someone to write a sign for them, it’s nice to see street performers that ‘put out’. Statue Man puts an awful lot of work into doing nothing, so drop him a dollar or two if you’re feeling generous.

And now? I’m off to find Extremo the Clown…

Related Posts

• December 21, 2009 -- Behind the Beard – Pioneer Place Santa (2)
• April 15, 2009 -- “Hey lady, nice cans!” (0)
• April 11, 2009 -- Blazer Rally downtown in Pioneer Place next Thursday 4/16 (1)
• October 10, 2008 -- Positively Fifth Avenue (1)
• September 16, 2008 -- Doesn’t Anybody Else Buy Toys? (15)

As PAgent mentioned below, now that heavy construction on the transit mall is winding down, the snazzing up of Fifth and Sixth Avenue has begun. I noticed the new street signs on Morrison across from Macy’s, The Nines and Pioneer Place. They appear to be made of stainless steel or aluminum.

Any bets on how long before one of the downtown tweakers tries to rip one off and sell it for scrap metal?

Related Posts

• December 21, 2009 -- Behind the Beard – Pioneer Place Santa (2)
• April 15, 2009 -- “Hey lady, nice cans!” (0)
• April 11, 2009 -- Blazer Rally downtown in Pioneer Place next Thursday 4/16 (1)
• December 7, 2008 -- “Silver balls… Silver balls…” (3)
• September 16, 2008 -- Doesn’t Anybody Else Buy Toys? (15)

There used to be a Discovery Channel Store in Pioneer Place mall. It was right on the corner of 5th and Morrison at ground level. Over the years I had purchased many, many items there, particularly during the Christmas season: A weather station, DVDs, various electronic gadgets, and a plethora of stocking stuffers.

Now it’s been replaced by a shiny, new, pink, Juicy Couture. I sincerely feel that this has not been an even trade. And it’s particularly disappointing after Pioneer Place already lost Toy Bliss, which was a toy store up on the third floor full of wonderful toys and geeky collectibles. Although they were expensive, you could find items there that you were not going to find at Finnegan’s (or even Toys ‘R Us).

Maybe this part of downtown can’t support a toy store. After all, Pioneer Place is not Washington Square, or Clackamas Town Center. It’s smack in the middle of downtown, in the high rent district as it were. Maybe there wasn’t enough business to support a toy store, or an educational store (although they always seemed busy whenever I was there).

But I have my doubts that sales were the whole issue. There are a lot of workers downtown who need to buy things, things that aren’t always clothes. It’s incredibly convenient to be able to run out at lunch, or after work, and grab that last-minute birthday present, or just a new stuffed animal because your kid has been having a rough week. To the extent that commercial diversity exists within walking distance of Pioneer Square, it is certainly appreciated.

Regardless of the reasons stores like Discovery and Toy Bliss have for leaving downtown, I think they have left the area poorer for their departure, and created a void that the presence of a “Juicy Couture” just makes bigger.

Related Posts

• December 21, 2009 -- Behind the Beard – Pioneer Place Santa (2)
• April 15, 2009 -- “Hey lady, nice cans!” (0)
• April 11, 2009 -- Blazer Rally downtown in Pioneer Place next Thursday 4/16 (1)
• December 7, 2008 -- “Silver balls… Silver balls…” (3)
• October 10, 2008 -- Positively Fifth Avenue (1)